though i haven't slept in 3 days and have a mountain of work to do, i am an incredibly happy person right now. it turns out grad school isn't as frightening as one might think.

i am definitely the shittiest future architect in my studio-- by far-- but i realized: that's columbia's problem for admitting my sorry self, and now i'm going to reap the benefits of their program.

my projects to date have been less than exciting (this is not modesty), so hopefully the learning curve works out for me. the coolest part of this gig, though, is actually being surrounded by all these smart and talented people. naturally, the down side is self-doubt, but i am learning more from them, probably, than from all of the critics combined. here's a case in point: this week we diagrammed the site from a particular perspective; i chose surveillance. i'm sure there's a ton of potential there that i completely missed. anyway, this is what i produced, and it took me 2 days:

pretty literal, right? i mean, it's a goddamn diagram using a map of the site. and here's what one of my studiomates, the creative tommy manuel, built:

holy cow. i didn't even realize one could do a 'diagram' like that. but that's a beautiful thing, because now for the next three years i can use that as reference. thanks, t!

hopefully soon i'll move this blog from a more self-reflective/experiential mode to something with actual architectural content and original thoughts. but since nobody's reading this anyway, i guess i'll just pollute the internet with my ramblings on school. i leave 'you' with a haiku i wrote the thursday before my review- at 3.30 am.

will i die tonight,
in studio, idea
empty, self-doubt full?

oh, that's so pretty.